The big fat blog of the year...

January 2011
Was Kinda Uneventful.  We had moved into our house on Christmas Eve and Boyf was obsessed with building a safe house for our little bambino that was due in three months time. It was snowing. The house was in chaos. I was feeling more and more pregnant and getting more and more tired. I struggled with my pregnancy more than most. My memory of january is pretty pants.

February
The snow had started to melt, but the house remained in chaos. I became more and more stressed about not having an organised place to have a) a home birth and b) a newborn. Boyf promised tools down by the beginning of March. I was feeling worse and had to reduce my hours at work. I was swollen.. every bloody where!!

March
Along came a frog. On 25th March 2011, 5 days after finishing work our beautiful miracle was born. Our birth was amazing, our newborn was beautiful. My world was complete.

April
The first month. Wow thats tough, no? Zero sleep, constantly feeding. Trying to do everything. Nothing fits. and this little tiny, little thing, cries.....alot! To be honest, I didn't find it that hard, she fed brilliantly, she didn't sleep, but I was on such a high I didn't care. I loved my precious little bundle. I loved holding her, feeding her, kissing her. We bonded so well. Many funny poo moments, me learning to dress this screaming doll... the first time she opened her eyes, the first time she smiled.... yes April was a precious month.

May
A holiday to Cyprus when Frog was 9 weeks old. In hindsight it was really hard work, but we did it, it gave me massive confidence and it gave the three of us some time together as a family. Cyprus was a key moment in our journey and one which I am so grateful for. It was a beautiful holiday with very happy memories. We did it, us. Our little family.

June
Frog and I are getting to know each other more and more. While Boyf is at work, we are getting around going to baby groups and doing the family big shop. My memory of June is me... pushing the pram very fast.. almost running.. Being late for something or other.. I am trying really hard to live a wonderful and active life... and I am managing.. just. Life is good.. Frog is three month old and things are slowly getting easier.


July
Boyf and I go on a date. It is a success for us, but frog has a terrible time. I feel awful and vow not to go out again until she is 14! It is Frogs Christening. It's a fantastic day and she looks amazing, all of our friends and family are there and I get a bit tipsy. Everyone is happy. By the end of July, Frogs sleeping habbits are worse than ever.. I am very very sleep deprived.

August
Possibly the worst month of the year. Due to Frogs terrible sleeping habits I decide to wean her.. a mistake. I start with a bit of baby rice. She becomes a little constipated but nothing a little breast milk wont shift. Then at the end of august I stay with one of my friends for the weekend, I am drinking so I decide to give Frog a mix of expressed milk and formula. I end up drinking more than expected and as a result Frog has more formula then expected. This combined with the early weaning was all too much for the little boo and on 23rd Aug she was rushed to hospital with a blockage in her tummy. No words can describe the awful fear that passed through me. I am haunted forever by that day. it was awful.

September
Is a much better month! After the awfulness that was August we decide to get away in September and have a wet week in Wales. We go to Porthmadog for a week in a caravan. It rains every day. Its brilliant! the three of us all snuggled up each day, reading books, eating, playing with Frog. We have a fabulous week, its lovely. I slowly start trying to wean Frog again, but again she ends up in hospital. It was 24th Sept, one day before she is six months old. I look at it as a positive. I promise myself to return to exclusive breastfeeding and I am introduced to Baby Led Weaning. It's a revolution.


October
Its my birthday!!!! We plan to go out, but I don't really want to. After Frog being ill, I don't want to do anything other than hold her and feed her. So we stay in and get a take away, its perfect! October is quite tough, since returning to EBF frog is feeding every two hours, Im getting a bit too skinny and Im knackered. Everyone is pressuring me to feed her more solids / formula but I stick to my guns and I am right to. By the end of Oct she is secure and happy. She had Bowen treatment on her bowel which is amazing and she is like a different baby! I am introduced to the 'no cry sleep solution' It's bloody brilliant! Finally we start to sleep.

November
Its Boyf's birthday!!! Well on the 29th it is! We decide this time we are going to go out.. so I spend the month preparing. This is also a good test to see if I can express for when I return to work. I've always been rubbish at expressing, but this time I have to make it work. I get less that 1oz the first few times. There are 12 bags in the freezer and its only enough for one bottle. It's time to face the fact I'm not going to be able to breastfeed when I return to work. Anyway, boyf and I go out, we drink wine, we are home before midnight and we have an amazing time together. We are all so content. I'm not sure I could be happier!

December.
I stop breastfeeding. I take this very hard, it has an effect on me physically and psychologically that I wasn't expecting. There are some good aspects to it. Frog is sleeping better, she appears happier, Boyf can feed her now and I can have a Christmas drink. But I miss it terribly, Im gutted, I feel very sad about the fact I stopped too soon, very sad indeed. Anyway... We have a wonderful Christmas together. Frog is amazing on Christmas day, she is wonderful. Boyf and I are skint, we buy each other very silly presents that make us both laugh and love each other even more. This Christmas means more than any other ever has. I feel incredibly blessed. I love my life. I love 2011.

P.S...... The house will get finished in 2012 ;-)