I am writing this post so that I have something to remember my journey by. You may find it boring, it's not a gritty or glamourous post but it is my personal account of how I am getting on with chapter 21.
Last week I watched very inspiring video which you can see Here. This video couldn't of come at a better time. I was feeling low about the size of the change I was trying to make, the amount of work that would be required and the potential financial suicide that I was about to committ. Then I watched this video and it made me cry with tears of passion. It re-lit the fire that was burning inside me and made me want to fight for me, for my family and for something that I truly believe in and love. I loved that in the video, Lindsey had kept a photograph record of her achievements and I realised that I should start at this stage keeping a record of my journey.
I do fear that I am spreading myself too thin. I worry that I will miss out on the frog, and she will miss the best of me. The truth is of course, all of this is for her. For our lifestyle, our life. I have to put the work in now so that she get the best of her mummy, her real mummy.
So here is it. I won't talk about my finances, but I will say that I cannot afford to not work. I need to earn a certain amount of money each month and bring in a 'wage'. So...
In January I will be going back to my day job. I am hoping to reduce my working week to a four day / 32hr week. I have a meeting next month to discuss if this is possible and if I can stay in my office or if I will need to move. Either way, I will probably still have a 45minute each way commute... It fill me with dread to go back to that job, but it has to be done, so there is no point dwelling on it.
I have agreed the franchise on the Lazy Daisy Active Birth Class for Warrington. I have a home study manual to work through, as well as three books to read, marketing, research, advertising etc. I will start official training and taking lessons from Spring 2012. This will in time make me some money (I hope) and it will have to. The training is costing about £2800, which is not spare change, but I believe in this so strongly, I just know it will be a success.
Initially I am hoping to do one weekend and one evening class. If it takes off, then I will increase the classes and hopeful reduce my 'day job' working week to a three day week.
Finally I have applied to be Voluntary Doula with the Liverpool voluntary Doula scheme. This involves another home study workbook, where I need to produce essays, that are graded and if successful I will receive a qualification equivalent to an A level. The training covers birth, breastfeeding, PND, everything I need to support vulnerable women when they need it most. The training will take me to February, when I would be matched to a pregnancy and offer an hour of support a week, up until the birth, then two post natal visits as required. I am currently up to the interview stage. There are about 60 women who have applied for 20 places. Fingers crossed I get a place.
I almost didn't apply for the Doula scheme, I thought it was one stage too much, but the boyf convinced me otherwise. He has so much faith a belief in me. He can see how passionate I am about this, and he pushes me to be a better person. I love his positive energy, and he is right, this is such a good opportunity I have to at least try.
Above all other jobs and everything else, I want to be a good mother to the frog, I want her to have my time energy and love and I want to fight to achieve this. I want her to be successful in whatever she decides to do. I want her to follow her passions and believe in her dreams, so I am going to lead by example. Don't be a pen pusher following a pension. Be true to yourself and follow your dreams.
I know its going to be hard, but you only get out of life what you put into it right?! Watch this space.....
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