Changing our habits ...

I will be returning to work in two months time and although the thought of being away from the frog fills me with dread, this presents some practical problems too. Since about four months old, the frog has been breastfed to sleep, every night. If she wakes - which she does, she will be breastfed back to sleep. She knows this is how she is safely and calmly put back into a restful sleep. She very rarely cries.

So we have to start preparing for me... her mummy.. her safety blanket to not be here. So we will be doing this in two ways, 1) by re-introducing the frog to formula and 2) by stopping her from falling asleep on the breast and ideally learning to fall asleep herself. 

Tonight was the first night.  At 7pm, Daddy gave her a bottle of Formula which she drank no problem at all. He put her into her cot, while I prepped our tea. After 15 minutes she was crying and boyf came downstairs. We swapped roles, probably a mistake, but I hate hearing her cry and not being there. So up I went. We played the put down - cry, pick up - sleep, game about four times. Frog does not like being put down at the best of times, but when she is tired - forget it. 

My back in pain from her 16llb weight, I walked strolled and rocked. Twice she fell asleep - put down, cry. At 7:40 I gave in and put her to my breast. Amazingly after initially latching on, she rolled away, eyes closed, so desperate to go to sleep. I put her straight down in the cot, cry. We tried again, but her belly full of formula she didn't want more milk, so again, she rolled away, I put her down, cry. 

I was in tears now. Please baby, please go to sleep, I promise Mummy wont leave you, I just need you to do this, I need to know you can do this. I picked her up, instantly she slept on my shoulder. We played the put down - cry, pick up, sleep, game three more times. The final time I put her down, she was flat out. In her cot at 7:55pm, she was asleep. 

She had done so well, the first night and mummy crumbled after 40 minutes, frog didn't tho. She didn't break the rules. It was as if she said "Come on Mummy, we can do this, we have to do this." 

It's going to be a long week. It's an unnatural transition that we are forced into making, I just want it to be as least-stressful and upsetting to the frog as possible. If that IS even possible. 

Im sorry frog x